This year. So many BIG things coming at us. Many of us have gone from disbelief to depression to anger to acceptance to frustration and repeat.

It will be over a year by the time most of us get to hug and be hugged by our most beloveds. So many of us will ever only be able to cherish memories of such hugs. Yet during this time, when the periods of paralyzing depression have lifted, I have also experienced moments of wonderful peace and creativity and thoughtful clarity.

Perhaps a ‘Great Balance’ is being born out of this communal time of forced isolation and cessation of activities.

I know so many who have sorted and purged and remodeled rooms and closets and garages and pruned gardens along with reassessing their lives and priorities. In itself quite a good thing. Potentially quite positive and quite necessary. For me, anyway. That, and learning to cut myself some slack for all the plans I have procrastinated on.

This year has delivered more time for focussed thought and time to return to those thoughts, again and again. Time for sorting and balancing priorities, of developing heightened awarenesses. And, trying to just be quiet and listen.

Taking time to delve deeper into what faith is.

The darkest and the brightest times in our lives are the moments when we are most likely to become aware that God is there too.

Shadows outline and light brings forth detail, without light there is no color, without shadow there is no form.

Indeed, it is in the moments after and before darkness that we see the most brilliant skies of dawn and sunset!

Variations of light and dark inspire human creativity and artful expression – from paintings to poetry to dance to architecture.

In music, high sweet notes and rich low notes meld into crescendos of joy and of sorrow, evoking simple memories and deep emotion.

This year has provided so many sources of contrast. And time to consider the value of contrasts.

As I felt the pain of not spending time with my kids and grandchildren, I also felt the deep joy of watching our youngest grandson grow strong with his newly transplanted heart, and our eldest granddaughter as she finishes her senior year of high school a person of kindness, integrity and intelligence. And all the growth and the mature attitudes of each of their young cousins – such enthusiasm and resilience in this upside down year inspires me.

In the painful longing to be with my socially distanced loved ones this year, my heart is warmed by the love that endures ever strong regardless.

Gods sustenance is ever present in myriad ways.

Thoughtful teachers of art and spirituality in my life make study and instruction and inspiration creatively and safely available.

Drive-through food donations and on-line worship. Nature trails. Virtual concerts. Zoom. Shared humor. Kindness. Thoughtfulness. Prayer.

The helpless loss of in-person contact with my family and friends, and the bonus alone time with my husband and our sweet shaggy dog has increased my awareness and gratitude for the most tender and valued relationships in my life.

So, for me, this year has been one of great fear and grief and frustration counteracted by greater joy, faith and gratitude. And, unexpectedly, recognition that contrasts are valuable to appreciate context, to grow…

and to Hope.

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