Tag Archives: self view

Do not

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Do not think that your life is not worth something unless you do something that makes you famous.

Do not think that the value of a life is measured by the number of people who adore or fear you for anything you have said or done or role you have fulfilled.

Instead, concentrate on each person you are with, by choice OR by chance. Listen to them at the level they are outright sharing with you by word, deed or attitude and respect the boundaries they communicate in these ways. Consider the sharing as a precious gift, always, for it may require their last bit of humanity or physical strength, no matter how trivial it might seem to you at the moment – even a slight smile or nod or holding open a door or a place in a line. Yet, also recognize it may indeed be trivial to them and forgotten as soon as it has been given. These are not gifts that you should judge as more worthy or less worthy of gratitude. Rather as slight but significant gifts not unlike slight but precious bits of spice that make up a tasty dish. Life is made gentler, sweeter or more interesting by your awareness of them. And, especially, I think, because they are mostly unasked for and you did nothing to earn them. Bits of grace. Generously shared with what may be a last bit of precious personal energy, or not, yet shared in spite of, because of, or simply out of politeness or habit, still, given and received.

Try not to make too much out of such small gifts or similarly, of minor slights or rudenesses. They too add a kind of spice and counterbalance to being alive. And they also are more communications from and about the person who projects them than they are about you. Also though, do not ignore or minimize them as they may inform or warn of unwanted behavior on your part. Again, respect boundaries they may, no matter how clumsily, project. Also, do not be blinded by taking too much offense or insult, seek to learn when such behaviors are a cry for understanding or help and discern if you have a role either causing it or helping, or can or should or if you are welcome at all.

We can each of us only seek to live our lives with as much generosity of spirit as we naturally have and can develop. In the end that is really how we fulfill our greatest purpose in this life. Living in such a way is like the ripples created by a pebble thrown into a pond. The more pebbles the more ripples run into each other. Each time we individually give to another from our own reservoirs of love and generosity more ripples spread throughout humanity.

It was never about one person, whether spiritual or political leader, performer, philosopher, artist, teacher, scientist or writer or any one single person down through history, famous or infamous – it’s always been about individuals in their own circle of influence doing what they can and growing and sharing their own innate gifts. Famous persons do inspire and guide, it’s true. But the real power for good lies in what each individual does. Pebbles in the ponds.

Generosity

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Generosity is very often linked in our western culture as being the giving of our money, or of our things or our talents to those less fortunate or to those we love. Sometimes we think of generosity as being ‘overly so’, implying manipulation, creating misguided intentions or implications, generating self worth or self promotion or creating an unasked for debt.

I have begun to realize however that it is generosity of spirit that is most of value. Generosity in forgiveness, generosity in compassion and in seeking empathy, generosity in discerning of another’s intentions, generosity of expectations of possibilities in self or in others – this generosity I think garners great wisdom and joy. One might argue it generates being taken advantage of. Yet isn’t even that a gift if given without conditions. And, in itself teaches wisdom.

Generosity. Learning it. Doing it. Demonstrating it. Repeating it. Making it a way of life. Creates joy deep within oneself (the only place true joy can be generated) and, therefore, is capable of sparking joy across the world. Starting in one’s own sphere.

I don’t mean to minimize pain and how it turns one’s focus inward, how difficult pain is and how distracting it is and lingering it can be, particularly emotional pain.

I also don’t mean to minimize what kind of joy I’m talking about – the joy I refer to is the kind that springs deep from the core of a person, that is integral to the fabric and lens of a persons’ being and outlook. Joy as compared to light fun or transient happiness. Joy that frames life’s action and outlook.

When deep joy takes root and grows, one of the fruits is profound generosity. And that generosity grows even deeper joy. A healthful cycle that generates more of itself within the person, and, to all those that person is in contact with.

Like all things worthwhile cultivating generosity is not easy. It is often born out of pain and deprivation and fear. Yet the experience of receiving generosity has the potential for miraculous healing. And so it often begins. And continues. And spreads.

A realistic view

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My church friend said, “you look like a teenager!”

I’m 70 years old. How is such a statement a compliment at my age.

I admit I was flattered. Maybe I do, I thought, from the rear view, in winter sweater, jeans and my long hair. My posture is pretty straight, thanks to the urging of my mother for most of my life.

However, from the front or side with my naturally grey-streaked with white and remaining light brown hair, the age-related relocation of my boobs, shoulders, neck jowls and facial features – well let’s just say no one would mistake me for a teenager, no one indeed. Even with my face mask. Maybe especially with my face mask.

Im ok with that, actually. There’s a measure of satisfaction in it. I earned those land scarps. Scarps. Perfect word.

I am grateful I’m very mobile and able, physically and mentally and emotionally. Oh sure arthritis hampers my strength and sometimes my artistic capabilities, but overall I am fully engaged and enjoying my life, looking for good in my future.

Very, very aware of the reality that I’m living the last 1/3 of my life, or less. Roughly 10,000 days left if I live to be 100. Which is both likely, considering my self care and family longevity and nutrition and medical care, and unlikely, considering the law of averages.

So, regardless of how I look to myself or other people, it’s up to me to see that I do as I’m able to live and feel my best. And, though realistic, I am both grateful and hopeful.